2005-05-15 - 9:56 p.m.

"When Tom Cruise broke her heart... it was like he broke my heart."

Man, there are Chip Clips like all over the house. There's a big blue one in this room, a couple small ones in my room. I don't get it. Do I really finish bags of chips that often? I honestly never remember doing that. So hey, somebody superglued a tube of superglue to a piece of paper and left it on this desk. That must have been a facinating thought process. I have all this superglue and nothing to glue superly. I should just glue the glue tube! To paper! Yes, this person's thought patterns should be studied by science. Laboratories will be used, articles will be published. You know, science. We'll have a brief recess and continue this discussion in a few minutes.




"I fought fire with fire, but I couldn't tell who won."




You know what's weird? They teach "This Little Light Of Mine" in Sunday School. We're, like, eight in Sunday School. I had little to no grasp of the abstract concept of this light, nor of it's metaphorical properties. I swore to God Satan was going to fucking blow out my lamp or something, because he's rude as hell. Then it would get all dark. That's a horrible song, teaching children Satan wants to trap them in the dark. Alone, like some kind of large cellmate. That's ice cold shit, Sunday School teacher. Dang. Also, I'm going to stop paying for things. I'm not a fan of any of that business.

Anyway, kidz bob, just remember, as you walk that long road of life, remember to train furiously for an upcoming age of great pirate exploration. Because some RPG's told me it's coming. Or get killed by pirates, I hope. Stop me before I destroy us all!

The Amazing Spider-Man - Web of Spider-Man